|
Send me those comments.....it's good therapy! Momma Kath All my friends on facebook keep asking what im waiting for…Duh.It is so annoying. Husband and I had been trying to conceive 1st child for about a year when I met, FOR THE FIRST TIME, a rather loud, mindless female guest at the home of my in-laws (who, themselves, consider me an "xeni"/outsider because I'm not Greek, as they are). Their guest kept asking me quite loudly when my husband I were "FINALLY" going to give my in-laws a grandchild. I tried to convey, silently, through body language and my less-than-humoured expression, that she should stop. She said, "You've ALREADY been married 4 years!" and spitefully asked what was "wrong" with us. Finally, she laughingly yelled from the kitchen that I was becoming an old maid (at 32 years old). Others laughed. Moments after I lost my 2nd baby, in utero (no heartbeat), my husband was ANGRY with me and then picked a fight with the parking attendant, while I was just sobbing. The next day, I visited my parents, who insisted upon watching a "touching" TV show about a beautiful newborn. The next day, my father went out of town with some friends, forgetting I might need a little support from someone. No one called to talk with me until my mother told a couple relatives just to give me a quick call (after I'd expressed to her my sadness over the collective silence), but even the ones who'd been in the same situation, said the terribly wrong things. Immediately before I buried my tiny baby, alone, my mother called and said, angrily, "Don't you think you're taking this way TOO FAR!!?" My husband and mother tell me to "get over it" on "anniversary" days, and husband says I use the death of my little girl as an excuse to get sympathy and lay around (on those sad, "reminder" days). I cannot understand the cruelty and inexcusa ble ignorance. I feel hopeless. My DH and I have been TTC for over a year. And I am so annoyed with my S-I-L. I just received two ultrasound pictures via e-mail, with her gushing about how excited they are to be having child #2. Did I mention that my husband is deployed with the Army at the moment? Not exactly the best situation for TTC, to say the least, and she knows all this. Yes, I'm happy for her and for my husband's brother, I love nephew #1, and I know I'll love #2 as well, but It's kinda tough dealing with my emotions right now. The phone call with the official announcement of the pregnancy was plenty -- did she really need to rub it in with follow-up visuals? *sigh* Thanks for letting me vent... How about this: MIL says to me that I should try this new quick fix for everything juice to “fix up whatever is wrong inside of me” I love the assumtion that the reason we haven’t concieved is me instead of her DS and when I looked up the product there web site said “not to take when pregnant or trying to concieve” way to know what your promoting MIL We have no children and after losing my right tube because of an ectopic, she proceeded to call me at home (while I was recovering) to say "Well, I think your family has issues getting pregnant because our family has no problems"...or how about from my friend since the 6th grade with four kids (had the first at age 14) "I can't wait to have this abortion". Okay we've been trying for our third for many many months after our second passed away at 3 days old. People keep telling me "God doesn't give you what you can't handle" Okay so I couldn't handle her possible health problems...I'm that inadequate so that why my baby had to die and the reason I'm not pregnant again ofcourse is because "God doesn't think I'm ready" It's so painful everytime I hear it!!! 3 tops annoying comments I've heard... 1. If it's meant to be, it'll happen 2. Relax, think about something else, then it'll happen My all time fav 3. Adopt, then you'll find out your pregnant Grrrrrrr... some people can be so frustrating....... :) Finally, somewhere to vent! My SIL has 2 kids, with the third on the way. My oldest sister and BIL have 2 daughters. My middle sister had her 1st at 15 w/ one guy, 2nd at 17 with a different guy, and has since had two more with yet another guy, most recent being the first boy in the family, born at the end of May 2003, something I was really hoping to have. Running joke in the family is all a guy has to do is look at her and she gets pregnant. And she has the nerve to tell my other sister that I'm stupid for going through infertility treatments, don't I know how risky that is for the baby/babies I could conceive? Knowing that I have PCOS, don't ovulate, and obviously can't conceive on my own or we would've had a baby over 2 years ago! Maybe I should've started younger like she did, then I could be just like her with 4 kids from 3 different guys, always complaining about how she can't afford anything because she's got so many kids to provide for. My parents raised her first 2 up until a couple years ago, and everytime I talk to my mother I have to hear about how hard my sister has it with so many kids. DH and I would love to have it that 'hard'! My mom's (among other's) favorite saying is "if it's meant to be it'll happen. God must have other plans for you." Like God planned for all those people who abandon/beat/molest/kill their kids to be blessed with children? Somehow they are more deserving than DH and I? How is that supposed to make me feel? Then there's the friends who suddenly turn up pg without even trying and say things like, it must be nice to not have kids, we can't take vacations and stuff, we've got the kids holding us back. Well if your kids are holding you back, why are you having more? Why don't people THINK before they SPEAK! And if I have to look at one more ultrasound or host one more baby shower, I'm going to SCREAM! We have been TTC for 5 months now. My well-meaning co-worker actually said to me the other day, "Look at it this way - when you get pregnant you'll get fat. Enjoy being young and skinny as long as you can" - as if THAT'S a factor! I cannot believe someone told me, after finding out our problem was due to male factor, that infertility is God's way of population control. So, like, God wants drug addicted kids to rule the earth?? I was at a dinner of a bunch of ladies from the neighborhood and I was explaining to two of my good neighbors sitting on ethier side of me that I was currently in the process of doing injections of Gonal F in order to increase the size of my follicles. I have had two recent miscarriages and my friends knew of my ongoing battles with infertility. Well, a neighbor that I don't know too well overheard us talking because she caught me saying; "...I have been soooo tired lately from the shots". She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Gosh I have been tired too. But I certainly did not have to do shots to get my babies". I wanted to stand up and hand her a cookie or something! Geez!
My very religious friend has a "preacher" that she swears "prays babies on people." Everytime she sees me she always asks me if she can call her preacher with me on the phone and have her preacher pray with me. Every time I politely decline...the other day she said, "Guess what! "Jo" got pregnant because my preacher prayed with her! I wanted to smack her! Then she looked at me and said..."I GUESS YOU AREN'T DESPERATE ENOUGH"...really?? We had just had our second mc, my 6 year old niece bursts in the house and says my mommy is going to have a baby and of course my reaction wasn’t the greatest so a few days later I trying to be a good person go to my SIL and tell that I am sorry for my reaction and tell I am happy and her reply is, “ OMG, they think it is twins, WTF am I going to do with two babies.” Maybe you should have thought of that before you dtd…… hello you don’t say that to a person who is ttc and just lost two babies on top of that….. Believe it or not. Yesterday my mother in law told me that maybe I just don't have good eggs. Hmmm.....well there's a cheery thought! Stop trying so hard, you're stressing yourself out. Relax and leave it up to God. God helps those who helps themselves duh!!! |
|
|
